{"id":37497,"date":"2018-09-12T22:52:51","date_gmt":"2018-09-12T19:52:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/?p=37497"},"modified":"2020-09-24T17:07:05","modified_gmt":"2020-09-24T17:07:05","slug":"anxious-attachment-style","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.lifeadvancer.com\/anxious-attachment-style\/","title":{"rendered":"Signs of Anxious Attachment Style and How It Damages Your Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"

Our attachment style affects everything from our choice of partner to our behavior within relationships. Anxious attachment style is just one attachment style but research suggests it is a particularly damaging one.<\/h2>\n

Before we go on, let\u2019s have a quick recap of Attachment Theory<\/a>. Psychologist John Bowlby coined the term Attachment Theory and used it to explain that children need to bond with a primary caregiver. If this caregiver does not respond in a nurturing way we form certain kinds of attachments.<\/a>\u00a0Anxious attachment style is one of these attachment styles.<\/p>\n

There are four Attachment Styles:<\/h3>\n

1.\u00a0\u00a0 Secure Attachment<\/h4>\n

The primary caregiver is completely attuned to the infant\u2019s needs and responds accordingly and on time. The child feels confident enough to use the adult as a secure base to explore their surroundings.<\/p>\n

2. Avoidant Attachment<\/h4>\n

In the avoidant attachment<\/a> case, the primary caregiver is emotionally unavailable and not sensitive to the infant\u2019s needs. They do not respond when the infant is distressed. The infant learns to self-soothe and takes care of themselves.<\/p>\n

3. Ambivalent\/Anxious Attachment<\/h4>\n

This caregiver<\/a> is inconsistent with their responses. Sometimes they are nurturing and at other times they are insensitive. Therefore the infant grows up confused, not knowing what response they are going to get. They need attention from their parents but because they are so unpredictable they do not trust them.<\/p>\n

4. Disorganized Attachment<\/h4>\n

This is the worst attachment<\/a> type and occurs when an infant is abused by their caregiver. The child desperately needs love and affection but the very person they need it from is their abuser. In these cases, the child typically disassociates from themselves in order to survive.<\/p>\n

As children form certain attachment styles, so do adults.<\/p>\n

Attachment Styles in Adults:<\/h3>\n
    \n
  1. \n

    Secure<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Adults with a secure attachment style will feel comfortable with intimacy. They will not be preoccupied with rejection and will be equally happy depending on their partner as well as having their partner depend on them.<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \n

      Avoidant<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      This person will feel uncomfortable when their partner gets too close. They won\u2019t like intimacy<\/a>, they will not want their partner to depend on them and they\u2019ll value their freedom.<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. \n

        Anxious<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        People with an anxious attachment will crave intimacy and closeness. They will want to get close to their partners and will typically feel very insecure about their relationship<\/a>.<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. \n

          Anxious and Avoidant<\/h4>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          This person has intimacy<\/a> problems and yet worries about their partner\u2019s commitment to them. They find it difficult to get close to other people because they worry about being hurt if they do.<\/p>\n

          What are the Signs of Anxious Attachment Style?<\/h3>\n

          \"What<\/p>\n

          Adults with an anxious attachment style typically view their life in a negative<\/a> way. They experience more negative emotions, they think more negative thoughts and they react in a more negative way. Naturally, this has a knock-on effect on their relationships.<\/p>\n

          They are more likely to dismiss positive experiences, instead, they will focus on what has gone wrong in their lives. This colors every aspect of their life. As a result, they are more likely to suffer from depression<\/a>, lower self-esteem<\/a>, have less confidence, and experience lower life satisfaction.<\/p>\n

          So what are the signs of an anxious attachment style when it comes to relationships?<\/h4>\n